Beauty Unknown
by Raya
Summary: Waffy one-shot fic about Hamel and Flute
1. Part 1- Flute

**BEAUTY UNKNOWN**   
**A Violinist of Hameln fanfic**   
**By Ashley Auld**

Note This setting for this fic is in the TV style. During the year in which Hamel and Flute are searching around alone for Pandora's Box and the key, prior to the second attack on Sforzando. Super WAFF in here- I'm a Hamel and Flute sap… yes I know… one of those-- so just giving you advanced sugar shock warning. 

*disclaimer* The Violinist of Hameln is owned by Michiaki Watanabe, Enix, and Pony Canyon. I take no credit for its creation or the creation of the characters, I'm just writing this fic for my own personal enjoyment. ^_^ Thanks. 

I'd like to extend LOTS of thanks to Megs for being my editor on this. And mucho thanks to Jerrin also for making the VoH Music Video that inspired me. I wanted to explore in some depth Hamel's and Flute's relationship in the TV series continuity that was depicted in the Music Video. (if you haven't watched it yet, it can be found at The Hameln Archive. I suggest you see it cause it's very very very good!!) 

Part 1   
~FLUTE~ 

* pat pat pat pat* 

Flute lay awake in bed listening to the rain hitting the wooden roof. She curled up with her knees almost touching her chest; the bed covers were loosely thrown to the side. It was a warm night, so they weren't really necessary. Besides, she had other things occupying her mind.   
" I wonder what time it is?" She thought, " Probably pretty late…" she rotated her head just enough to get a glimpse of the door.   
Still closed…   
Then, further over her shoulder to see the bed across the room.   
Still empty…   
Not a sound of footsteps, no creaks or the faintest sound of human existence…not a sound in the whole place save her own heartbeat. She would have even been thankful for the snoring of a guest next door, but it was like a tomb. Everything drowned out by the "pat pat pat" of the rain hitting the roof.   
She turned over and curled up on her other side, this time facing the empty bed. "Hamel…" He'd been gone since they'd eaten dinner. He said he'd had things to do… that she couldn't accompany him.   
Flute could never sleep when he was not near her. This had happened before, and every time all she did was just lie awake and think about too many things. The adventure that she'd embarked on when leaving Staccato… The death of her Grandfather, the first meeting with Raiel-san, with Trom… and finally her mother… The fight against the Mazoku in Sforzando…Hamel…   
Hamel…   
She never would have imagined it had come this far. Now they searched town to town for Pandora's box, slowly working their way further and further north. How much further would they have to travel? How much more could she take of this? She was ok if she was with Hamel though… she was ok…   
But… was she really? Flute stared out at the water-streaked windowpane, the faintest silhouette of trees branches swayed in the wind outside casting eerie shadows on the walls of the room. Clawed branches…   
The image of Hamel's demon hand struck her, and she recalled the last town they'd visited. It had happened again, as it usually did. Hamel would loose control of his anger and the demon inside him would come rushing to the surface. They'd gotten kicked out of so many towns as freaks, outsiders, the Evil Ones… What did those people care if she and Hamel were trying to save mankind from disaster? People only knew about what was right in front of their eyes at the   
time…   
Flute closed her eyes. " Try to forget about it and sleep… you'll need it for tomorrow…" it was her weak practicality talking. Her emotions never wanted to listen to her practicality. She couldn't get his picture out of her head; it only intensified when her eyes were closed.   
The dark red of his skin, those muscles that quivered with long suppressed power and rage. Clawed hands, clawed feet, huge black wings like a bats only ten times more freakish.   
Ten times… more of everything… His eyes glowed silver and his grin widened, a bloodlust appeared on his usually beautiful and sad face. Flute grimaced outwardly, but her eyelids refused to open. It was as if her subconscious was telling her to face the reality.   
"No!" She thought. " No! Hamel isn't a monster… he's--"   
She saw the horns… The fanged teeth and the look in his eyes… The glint of something not human… something beyond that of human comprehension… It wasn't Hamel! Not HER Hamel!   
Flute sat straight up in bed, tears unconsciously streamed down her face. She gasped out at the blackness around her. She wanted it to go away! She wanted to be held… her mother… Hamel… Grandpa… anyone!! She wanted the security. But there was no one there.   
No one…   
It took her a few moments to calm herself. She remained sitting, clasping the cloth of her nightgown tightly and twisting it back and forth between both hands. She couldn't sleep, not until he was back…   
" Hamel… come back!!" She wanted to scream, but only whispered the words. They sounded no more audible than a hoarse, choking cry, like that of someone being strangled.   
What could she do? She'd loved Hamel since she could remember. He'd always been with her; he'd always protected her in his own way. But, what was Hamel? What was he?? She could not relate to his pain, to his suffering… All the things he'd been through, while she'd grown up safe in a town with people that loved her. Even now she had a mother that she knew would hold her, and a place to call home- no matter how morbid the memory… Hamel had nothing of that.   
" I'm no good…" She thought, all the times she'd just done nothing more than feel sorry for her own predicament,   
Hamel's was 100 times worse… and what could she do? She could only sit and watch while he persecuted himself in a sea of guilt and bad memories. And now determined to prove his humanity, he was loosing more and more of his human self every day. The side that she detested. She couldn't help it, if she had one wish in this entire world, it would be to make it disappear. To erase his past and his horrible memories, and withdraw from him the blood of the Demon King so he'd never face another stone throttled at his face, another mothers frantic screaming, another loss of a once dear friend…   
She looked up suddenly, jolted out of her inner thoughts at the sound of a dull thumping coming up the stairs. Footsteps… Hurriedly, Flute flung herself down on the bed and closed her eyes. A few seconds later, the creak of the door opened and the familiar footfalls that could only be Hamel's echoed on the floorboards, softly and silently like a cats, like only he could do.   
She was suddenly ashamed of herself, thinking all these things about him… what right did she have to analyze him like that? Especially when she didn't know… she didn't understand him. She couldn't relate, and she could never bring herself to ask him what he was thinking. Every time she'd tried she always choked up. She was a coward, because she knew she couldn't handle the truth. It was better not to know and be ignorant and happy, than to know and be miserable… What were Hamel's true feelings?   
The footsteps stopped, but the creak of his weight hitting his bed did not come. She wanted to open her eyes and peak out to see what he was doing. It was painfully quiet, not a sound but the constant rain. Then the slight rustle of his cape caught her ears; he was standing right next to her bed. She could feel his presence as he leaned over her. And then the covers that she'd kicked down to her ankles due to her tossing and turning were carefully pulled up to her chin. She felt a few drops of water land on one arm. He must have been caught in the rain.   
She continued to wait for him to lie down himself and go to bed. But he didn't move. She could feel his presence strongly now, watching over her, almost waiting for something. She wanted to just open her eyes so badly and look up at him, why didn't she? She could ask him all the questions that had been piling up in her mind from the very moment she'd first discovered the small white horn on his head.   
What came next was unexpected. The mattress of her bed sunk on one side as he sat down on it. Flute's eyes opened wide with surprise.   
" Ha-" She opened her mouth but shut it quickly as he began to talk. She didn't know if it was to her, to himself, or maybe nobody in particular. He just sat there, facing the window as the rain streaked endlessly down, hunched with one hand loosely covering her own. His human hand…   
" I'm sorry… I failed you again…" were his words.   
" H--Hamel?" Flute couldn't keep from speaking his name this time. It was like a conditioned reflex. He didn't look at her, but there was a long pause.   
" You're awake?"   
" Yes."   
" I'm sorry…" He stood up and walked over to his own bed. Flute sat up quickly.   
" No! You didn't wake me, I've been waiting for you to come back!"   
Hamel stopped, then turned to face her. His features were in silhouette but Flute was sure she could see the look of pain on his face. It was all she saw whenever she closed her eyes. And she wondered if that was really the reflection of his soul…   
" I…" She began. " Umm-- did you find what you needed too?"   
" Yes." He sat on his bed facing her and folded both hands between his knees.   
" Why do you always insist on going alone? Just what were you doing? What do you mean you failed? Failed who?" Flute seldom shot questions like this to him. She braced herself for a stiff reprimand or a simple feign of ignorance. It looked to be the latter for a few moments until he spoke.   
" … I failed you…" He said in that unwavering tenor lilt that sent a shiver down her spine. " I… lost my temper…"   
Flute blinked a few times, thinking hard what she could say to comfort him. But nothing came out except a simple. " That's ok."   
" … We continue to the next town tomorrow. There's nothing here… get some sleep." He removed his hat and set it on the bedside table. The small horn was now visible in the silhouette of his profile   
" Hamel…" Flute whispered. " To loose your temper… that is not failing me."   
He stopped his motion of getting into bed, then sat up again and looked at her. " But… I feel you drifting further from me… every day."   
" I… I'm not!"   
He sprung from his bed very quickly and leaned over to her, his nose at most ten inches from her own with both hands set down firmly on her bedside.   
" Then why is it that you flinch to hold my hand? You flinch at me like you're doing now? You are so quiet when you used to be so cheerful?! Ever since I learned my true character it has been like this!"   
" That's… I… umm…" Her heartbeat increased as he continued to inch his face closer to hers. She trembled, and finally pulled away. "It's not because I dislike you!"   
Hamel didn't move, he waited further for her explanation in silence.   
" I… I don't understand you…" she whispered. " I can't because I can't relate to you. How can I possibly pretend to know what kinds of things you're going through?" Tears started down her cheeks again. She hugged her arms around herself tightly and shook her head. " Your Mazoku… and you're suddenly not the Hamel that I thought I knew and loved… and your human… You ARE human! But sometimes I doubt it… I doubt you. I'm ashamed of myself!"   
" Flute…" Hamel reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, Her thin frame shook with sobs and she curled her knees up to her chest, wrapping both arms around them.   
" I feel alienated … I guess… I never know what you want… how you feel… what you think. And whenever I want to ask I turn into a coward! Because, what if you're thinking, or feeling, or wanting something other than what I can give?   
Why do I love you when I don't understand you? Maybe it's wrong of me to love you? I don't know… I don't know!!"   
She buried her face in her hands and cried, wracked with sobs and whimpers. It was a long overdue vent that she'd kept inside of her. For all the months that they'd been travelling this had been weighing her down more and more each day. And finally once let loose, she didn't even know what to feel. 

-end part 1 


	2. Part 2- Hamel

**BEAUTY UNKNOWN**   
**A Violinist of Hameln fanfic**   
By Ashley Auld

**Part 2**

**~HAMEL~**

He watched her crying in the faint blue light of the window. Tears sparkled down her cheeks and she wiped them away with clenched fists, sobbing uncontrollably. He'd never imagined or been prepared for something like this. It was completely unexpected. Since he'd learned of his true character, even the prospect of her loving him had completely flown from his mind. And all this time he'd believed she was simply repulsed by that deformed misshapen Demon form. That she traveled with him for no more need than to regain her cross then return to her country.   
" _And all those times that she's shrunk away from my hand? All those times are because… she doesn't understand me? Is that really all it is?_" He thought. He bent down closer to her and slid the hand off her shoulder to cup her cheek.   
" Flute." He whispered her name softly. She opened her eyes partly to look at him. He slowly sat down on the bed, sideways, so he could still look at her.   
" Being with me has been so tough on you… Gomen…"   
She shook her head and opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her from speaking with one finger.   
" I know it as well as you. It's been hard for you."   
Flute closed her eyes and nodded a little, she wiped away some more tears, trying her best to contain her sobs. Hamel sighed.   
" For as long as I can remember, you've been there in my life. From the time that I arrived in Staccato to right now… But…" He looked over to the window and grimaced, summoning up those painful memories that he'd kept so long concealed in his subconscious. " But… I started to remember before then…"   
" Eh?"   
" I remember glimpses of my childhood, with my mother. All the memories of her are soft and kind, and comforting. However…"   
" Eh?"   
" They were mingled with the worst nightmares… I think I became lost in those nightmares. Maybe I still am… but I understand them better than before."   
He glanced at Flute; she was watching him with wide, trembling eyes.   
" They have to do with my true character. My mother told me when I was a child… and I carry those words in my mind always… ' There are two ways for you.'"   
" Two ways… yes-- I remember…"   
" My ways… I had to accept my demon side in order to become more human."   
" NO!" Flute cried again. Hamel stopped and stared at her in shock.   
" Flute…"   
" No… " She repeated, and then shook her head. " When I see you transform to a demon… I get scared! I can't help it. I feel like I'm not looking at the real Hamel!"   
" Flute-- Listen to me…"   
" No…" She shook her head and put her hands to her ears. " I want the old Hamel back!"   
" Flute!"   
" THE OLD HAMEL!"   
" Flute! Stop it!"   
" WHY did this have to happen!?! WHY!?!"   
" FLUTE!" With no other alternative to make her listen, Hamel grabbed both her wrists and brought her towards him, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. Flute sat rigid in his hold.   
" L-Let go of me!" She started to struggle; he only hugged her tighter.   
" No."   
" LET GO!"   
" It's me! Flute-- It's still me! I don't blame you if you're scared. I understand that. But even if my appearance changes I still have the same soul! I'm still the same Hamel!"   
Her body relaxed as she gave up the struggle to free herself, as soon as she did, Hamel loosened his grip and brought his hands to his sides, but she didn't move from him. He took a deep breath. " The monster at Ansem… and the one that killed Shrinx… that wasn't me."   
" I…" She trembled slightly, and slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze. " I… think…"   
Hamel's heart beat fast in his chest. Seldom did he ever care about what others thought of him… but Flute was different. He realized that he cared for her far more than he'd originally thought. She was so special to him. He wanted to tell her that.   
" I think… I understand what you mean." She finally finished her sentence after several attempts. " Hamel… gomen-nasai…"   
It was like a huge weight suddenly lifted from his shoulders; he sighed in relief and shook his head with a half smile. " Flute… I promise that, no matter what happens, whether demon or no-- I will ALWAYS be the Hamel that you know, I won't allow the monster from Ansem to ever come back. Even if I don't look the same on the outside."   
She nodded silently, then did her best attempt at a smile. " I believe you."   
He was so relieved. He couldn't put into words how scared she'd made him before. The very idea of Flute being apart from him, scared of him… it put such a pain in his heart that he couldn't even describe. What was it?   
He suddenly became even more conscious of her presence near him. The way that her nightgown rustled as she moved, and how it set off her figure. The way she was nervously biting her lips and pushing loose strands of hair out of her face and behind her shoulders. She was beautiful.   
It struck him suddenly, the question she'd asked him earlier… "_What do you feel? What do you want_?"   
What did he feel when he looked at her? Hamel couldn't come to a conclusion. He just watched her as they sat in an awkward silence. His eyes scanning every single visible part of her body, and always landing back to her eyes. They were filled with expression and beauty. They looked at him with so much compassion. Her tears had finally stopped, but the silvery streaks of their path still trailed down her cheeks. As if his hand had a mind of its own, he brought it up and wiped a thumb down one shimmering line, and then another.   
How did he feel about her? There was a need there; a need to hold her, and be sure she's always safe… there was a need to protect her. But was that love?   
" Flute…" He lifted his other hand up and set it on her shoulders. " Flute… I don't think that I've been listening to myself lately. I think I know what's best for me but in truth I don't know anything."   
" You always seem so sure of yourself." Flute said softly.   
Hamel shook his head. " I've always been confused. My whole life I've been confused. My past, my present, my future… Maybe that's why I don't like to say what I think, cause half of the time I don't know what I'm feeling. Or what I should feel." The words were pouring out of his mouth now at a rate he couldn't control. He didn't even know what he was saying until after he'd already said it. " I've never had anyone to show me…"   
" It doesn't have to be like that!" She shook her head. " You have people that love you, that will show you if you only ask them too! Just ask! Don't be afraid too…"   
"…People that love me?" He was silent for a long while. He thought of his childhood friend, Raiel-- pointing a sword at him… calling him a monster; a murderer… Raiel couldn't forgive…   
" Yes! Raiel-san and Trom too! Even Clari-san though he always acts so cool."   
"… yeah… " He watched her intently. She stared back with a bright determination in her eyes. A determination to help him. She cared that deeply about him? And even after everything that had happened to him, everything that he'd done… all his brooding and his mood swings… she still looked at him with that same compassion. She still said she loved him. She didn't know about Raiel, she didn't know that Raiel hated his guts now. She didn't know that saying his name was like twisting a knife into an open wound. But she always meant well. He'd make Raiel understand someday, just like he made Flute understand tonight. She had faith in him.   
Faith? Love? All these emotions that he'd taken for granted before were suddenly revealed. Like unlocking a sacred treasure that had been buried for years and years… as long as he could remember. Flute's cheerful disposition… her optimistic view, her energy… he craved these suddenly. They were aspects of her that had always drawn his eye. She was like the door to a dreamland where his pain and his suffering didn't exist.   
"Hamel…" Flute tilted her head, a little embarrassed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"   
He realized suddenly that he was blushing, and that through all of those thoughts, he'd been staring straight at her lips. They were full and red from her constant biting down on them in frustration. He was being drawn to those lips.   
He wanted them.   
" So…" he hastily recalled her last speech to him. Even more conscious of the heat rising in his cheeks as he couldn't take his eyes off her lips. " If I need someone too show me, then--"   
Flute nodded enthusiastically, still so much compassion in her wide brown eyes." Just ask…" She whispered, trailing off to silence.   
" Okay." He said softly, inching himself closer to her. "Flute… You know how I said I was human, except I just had to accept my Demon blood?"   
She nodded.   
" Well, I think I've just found the root of my humanity…"   
" You do?" She consciously becoming aware of his face inching ever closer to hers but continued to sit perfectly still. He had a strange kind of nervous tension in his air this time around though. It was not the frustration that had scared her earlier.   
" Yes. But… I want you to help show me."   
" Of course!" She smiled enthusiastically. " What can I… do…" Flute trailed off as he continued inching closer to her. He gripped her shoulders tighter as he leaned towards her lips. She sat, a look of confusion crossed her face as if trying to make sense of that brief, fascinating moment between two people who were just about to kiss. She didn't have much time to ponder however, because Hamel closed his eyes and touched his lips to hers in a tender kiss. He had never kissed anyone before. The feeling was wonderful. The sweet fragrance of her hair filled his nostrils. She smelled like a spring day right after a small rain shower. Fresh and full of life… He slid his hands down from her shoulders, and brought them around the small of her back. Flute followed his lead, bringing her own hands up around his torso; she leaned into him, deepening their kiss.   
Everything about her was right. He kissed her over and over again, each time with more tenderness. Flute responded to him with tiny sighs of protest each time their lips parted. She wrapped her arms about him tighter. Never in his life had he felt more human… to experience such an emotion as love. Intense love. He needed to hold her, tightly. Protect her, not for the sake of his duty to the Queen, but because he loved her. He really did love her.   
He didn't know how long it had been. But he was conscious of the rain letting up. The tapping of the drops against the roof were barely audible now. Finally, he parted lips with her again, and drew away a little to get a look at her face. Flute returned his intense gaze with wide, innocent eyes; they sparkled with her unconditional love.   
Hamel smiled slightly as he loosened one hand around her waist to bring it up to cup her cheek gently. " Thank you." He whispered.   
She closed her eyes and relaxed into him, burying her head in the white wrap about his shoulders. Hamel hugged her back, bringing his head down to once again enjoy the scent of her hair.   
" Hamel…" Flute's voice was muffled, she didn't bother to take her face out of his shirt. Hamel closed his eyes.   
" Yes?"   
" …Why did you kiss me?"   
He didn't respond for almost a minute, he just continued to hold her. Finally, he brought his head up, and stroked the back of her head with his hand, letting the fingers entwine in the long strands of hair.   
"You said…" He began slowly. "That you wanted me to tell you what I think? Feel? And what I want?"   
" Yes…"   
" For the first time in my life, I think I know what I feel… Flute… "   
She brought her head up sharply at that point, looking into his face. Hamel brought the hand entwined in her hair around and kissed the silky strands. He returned her gaze intensely.   
" You are what I want." He whispered through his fingers, and let the handful of hair drop.   
Flute's eyes quivered now, she looked like she was about to cry again. She buried her face in his shirt, hugging him with more fierceness than before. " Really?"   
" Really."   
" I'm… so happy. I--"   
Her shoulders were shaking now, and he knew she was crying again. His face relaxed and he set his chin on top of her head, returning his arms to the small of her back. He held her tightly, rocking her back and forth like a precious doll.   
" You don't need to cry… shh…" His voice was soft and calm. And after a little while her shaking ceased. They both sat in silence holding each other.   
He didn't know how much more time had passed. The rain had completely stopped. Hamel glanced over his shoulder as the clouds moved away from the moon. Its light crept into their small bedroom, shining down on his own empty bed through the windowpane.   
" Flute…" Hamel whispered.   
There was no response.   
Gently, he loosened his grip enough to take a peek at her face. She was fast asleep.   
He smiled and gently laid her down on the bed. He had to coax her hands to open, as they were both clenched in the folds of his shirt. After this was accomplished, he pulled the covers over her again, tucking her in. Flute didn't awaken. Hamel ran a hand along her cheek, pushing some stray locks of hair away from her face and behind her ear, then leaned over and whispered. "Oyasumi."   
"_ She is proof of my humanity…_" he thought as he looked down at her peaceful sleeping face. " _A form of beauty that I never knew existed until now. Only she can generate it…this love… Only she can show me. Only Flute._"   
" _…She can show me from now on._" 

- The End- 

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